5-0? Poof, and it's gone

By: Mike Szvetitz | Opelika Auburn News
Published: October 25, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post a Comment

Auburn got beat up and down the field here at Tiger Stadium, by a better-than-it-has-been LSU team.

Auburn couldn't get anything going on offense. And that's starting to become a theme over the last three games, which have all been losses.

Here's a bit of my column for tomorrow's Opelika-Auburn News. The full column will be posted in a couple hours.

Now, we're back on the road, headed home.

Enjoy ...

BATON ROUGE, La. – WARNING: What your about to read isn’t for the faint of heart, women who are pregnant and/or anyone who is a fan of offense. Read at your own risk:
Punt.
Punt.
Fumble.
Interception.
Punt.
Punt.
Fumble.
Halftime.
Ouch.
Thrown in there are 42 yards of offense – just 16 yards of it was passing. Also in the first half of play, Auburn committed seven penalties for 64 yards. And there was still 30 minutes to go.
Reasons to be optimistic about the second half?
No. Not at all.
Field goal.
Punt.
Punt.
Punt.
Oh, by the way … touchdown.
Ballgame.
Have mercy.
LSU didn’t.
And neither will anyone else who saw Auburn lose its third straight game.
Where to start? Who knows. What we do know is where it’s going to end if Auburn can’t right the ship.
The more we move away from it, the closer 2008 seems – at least offensively. Shudder all you like, the numbers don’t lie.
Auburn totaled 193 yards of offense – 112 rushing, 81 passing. Auburn totaled just 10 points. Well, the starters scored just 3. Auburn needed its backups to make the game more respectable.
It was the least amount of points a Gus Malzahn offense has scored in college football.
A quick look at the arts and crafts table and we just noticed the crayon box is empty.
And LSU had a lot to say about that, as the Bayou Bengals took out every color stick in Malzahn’s bag of tricks and broke them into teeny, tiny pieces, dropping them at the offensive coordinator’s feet, along with Chris Todd.
Auburn’s offense, right now, isn’t good.
Was it ever? Were the first five games an aberration? A mirage concocted by smoke and reverses to make us think something imaginary really existed?
Where’s David Copperfield when you need him.
Hocus pocus. Allakhazam.
Wait, we made Darvin Adams disappear.