Ties that bind

Right now, most are too young to care what other people think or say. Their world revolves around simple pleasures like puddles and bubbles. But as they grow, awareness will build and questions will rise … “Who am I? Why don’t I look like my mommy and daddy? Where did I come from?“

At 7, Sylvia Battye of Auburn is already asking those questions. Her mother Karen Battye said, “She’s asked us, ‘Why am I the only one with black hair and brown eyes?’ ”

Rick and Karen Battye, who moved to Auburn from Minneapolis, adopted Sylvia from China when she was 6 months old. It is obvious the couple’s biological children, Sami, 12, and Sarah, 10, think the world of their little sister.

“She’s been teaching me some Chinese words — ‘Xie Xie’ means, ‘Thank you’ and ‘Ni Hao’ means, ‘Hello,’” said Sami Battye of her sister’s language lessons at Auburn University.

There’s a diary, Rick Battye said, the family keeps of their adoption trip to China that Sylvia has already read. Still the Battyes know there are blank pages. As adoptive parents they might not have all the answers, but they said that’s ok, so long as they can answer the one that matters most — the one about love.

For John and Debbie Robinson of Auburn, who adopted their daughter, Rachel, now 5, from China in 2003, they see with their heart.

“When I look at her, I don’t see Chinese; I see Rachel,” said Debbie Robinson as she wiped her eyes.

For those on the fence about adoption, John Robinson said, “We wasted a lot of time. Ten years. Don’t waste time. Do it now.”

He said being Rachel’s dad is an honor.

“I remember when we went to Disney World and there was the Magic Kingdom with all the commotion and how Rachel just wanted to chase the birds and squirrels,” he said.

In March 2006, adoptive mother Melody Hilyer founded the Lee County Chinese Children, a group of local parents and their adopted children. When asked why she formed the group, Hilyer said it was a way of providing support for families with adopted children from Asian countries such as China, Vietnam, Kazakhstan, Korea and Taiwan, as well as those in the process of paperwork. Already looking ahead, she said there are plans for when the children are older to have guest speakers come in and teach the children about their heritage and lost language.

Not long ago, the group gathered at Wok n’ Roll restaurant on Columbus Parkway in Opelika to usher in the Chinese New Year. Mike Hilyer could be seen proudly toting his 3-year-old daughter, Ashley, who was decked out in Chinese red silk complete with a matching purse that held her toy cell phone. The Hilyers adopted Ashley from Korea in 2005.

Parents said the group gives their children a chance to connect. Lee Wilkins, who adopted two girls from China, said the group is invaluable to her and her family.

“Sometimes the support of people who’ve ‘been there, done that’ can be helpful,” Wilkins said. “The primary objective is providing our children with a community of other children whose stories are similar, whose families look sort of like theirs and who have a shared cultural heritage.”

In the next two to three years, she said she hopes another trip to China will give her girls a better understanding of where they came from.

According to Asian-Nation, www.asian-nation.org, “Asian adoptees tended to grow up in an almost all-White environment, they never had to think about their ethnic identity. That is, until they experienced some form of racial prejudice or discrimination from schoolmates, strangers or even relatives of their adopted family. Because their adoptive families and parents either could not shield them from this almost inevitable process or could not adequately understand or support their feelings, many of these adopted Asians experienced an ‘identity crisis.’ It became clear to them that they were not White, but they had little if any connection to their Asian ancestry. To complicate matters, the Asian community often shunned their attempts to connect with their ‘roots’ because they had lost the ability to speak their ‘native’ language and/or had little knowledge of their ancestral culture.’ ”

Jennifer Brooks and her husband, John Ellisor, of Auburn adopted their daughter, An-Mei, now 3, from China in 2005.

“We want her to understand where she’s from. I think it’s important that she has pride in her Chinese heritage, as well as her American heritage. So, we talk about China all the time,” Brooks said.

And when An-Mei comes to her with hard questions one day, she said she will encourage those questions.

“I think there’s a natural urge to understand who you are and where you came from,” Brooks said. “I don’t want to limit that. I would be supportive of her finding her biological parents if she so chooses.”

Philip and Ann Stroud of Beauregard, who adopted their daughter, Chelsea Rose, now 5, in 2003, said a bloodline is not the only bond in life.

“I was surprised at the attachment; the attachment was instant,” said Ann Stroud of her daughter.

Will Finley, 11, and his sister, Ella Kate, 8, agree. It was love a first sight when their sister, Caroline, now 2, came home from China in 2006.

“Sometimes she chases me around the house, and I chase her. We like to make noises,” said Will Finley.

Ella Kate said she was proud to be a big sister.

“When I found out about her, I felt really happy. I’ve always wanted a little sister,” she said.

Paul and Jenna Sanders of Auburn adopted their daughter, Eleenah “LeeLee,” now 2, from China in 2006. They said LeeLee blends beautifully with their two biological children, Noelle, 7, and Hunter, 4.

“I always wanted to adopt,” Jenna Sanders said. “This was always in my heart.”

As LeeLee showered her plate with salt and intently shook soy sauce onto a spoon and let it drip over the drifts of salt, her mother laughed and said she was going to be a chef someday.

For Ulrich and Effie Albrecht, who adopted Veronica, now 10, in 1999 and Melina, now 7, in 2002 from China, their girls are an answered prayer.

“I want them just to have a happy life, a fulfilling life,” Ulrich Albrecht said. “To be satisfied and know that they are loved.”

For more information about Lee County Chinese Children, e-mail group founder Melody Hilyer at mmhilyer@bellsouth.net.