Tips for a healthy marriage bring out old stereotypes

By: Letter to the editor | Opelika Auburn News
Published: January 08, 2009

Tips for a healthy marriage bring out old stereotypes

Today I received an e-mail announcement about a bridal expo co-sponsored by the Alabama Community Healthy Marriage Initiative.

It disturbed me on a number of levels, the most important of which was the antiquated and biased view of relationships that underlay it. The political and cultural viewpoint inherent in the decision to choose “healthy marriage” rather than “healthy relationship” is clear and should be of great concern, as it clearly excludes people who choose to be in a long-term relationship but do not marry, as well as lesbian and gay community members who continue to be denied the right to marry.

I am also disturbed by the idea that a federally funded program aimed at promoting healthy marriage appears to be using its resources for what amounts to advertising and marketing efforts on behalf of local merchants.

I am unsure of how tips on ways to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding will improve communication between spouses or foster a healthy relationship. And the gendered division of activities (grooms can discuss golf tips) seems simply to reinforce many of the cultural stereotypes that lead to unhealthy relationships between men and women.
It’s 2009. Is this really the best that we can come up with?

Claire Wilson
Auburn