Joe McAdory: Gentlemen, start your radar guns

Attention Opelika police department: if you want to nab speeders please direct your cruisers to Williamson Avenue. You’ll more than meet your quota.

Williamson has become a main artery in my trips to and from work every day and I’ve grown beyond weary of the motorists who rebuke the posted 35 mph speed limit and choose to ride my tail. They flash their lights. They weave to the left in an aggressive display that says, “I’m gonna pass you, sucker.”

Ladies and gentlemen (yes, neither gender is immune to aggressive driving), I see nothing wrong with driving the posted speed limit. That doesn’t make me a less capable driver because I can trade paint with the best of them if I need to, and I’ve been kicked out of many a go-kart track for that. If the speed limit is posted at 35, by God, I will drive 35. Flying along at 48 mph over this two-minute stretch of road that separates South Long Street from Marvyn Parkway gains the motorist nothing but a few seconds.

If you want to ride my Ford Taurus’ rear end in some hideous, immature maneuver that makes you think the aggressiveness will inspire my right foot to mash the gas just a little bit harder, forget it. Grow up. If you want to drive like a madman, do it on a video game where nobody gets killed.

Opelika police, the drag strip along Williamson Avenue. is all yours.

Gentlemen, start your radar guns.

Crud. I hope I don’t accidentally speed now.

* * *

At this rate, the race for Alabama House District 28 will resemble a full, 43-car NASCAR lineup before next June’s Democratic primary.

Howard Burton, a funeral home director from Tuskegee, entered the race last week, giving the district a whopping seven candidates to replace the outgoing Myron Penn.

Other candidates previously announcing their intention to seek the office are former Tuskegee mayor Johnny Ford, former Auburn city councilman and veteran Tuskegee educator Samuel L. Harris, State Rep. Locy Baker of Abbeville, Macon County Commissioner Drew Thompson, State Rep. Billy Beasley of Clayton, and long-time Shorter Town Clerk and radio personality Harold Powell.

With seven candidates seeking the office, expect a runoff because I seriously doubt one candidate will garner more than 50 percent of the votes.

In a release, Burton said, “Alabama’s economic outlook is abysmal and I believe we need leaders who have the experience and education to help deal effectively with these economic problems. I believe I am uniquely qualified to help effectively address the district’s needs in that regard. Economic development for this region is key to improving the lives of everyone in the area and I believe my background provides the best opportunity to help bring jobs to our community.”

Burton is president of the Alabama Funeral Directors and Morticians Association.

Joe McAdory is editorial page editor for the Opelika-Auburn News. He can be reached at 737-2549 or jmcadory@oanow.com