Teachable Moments, Accountability and Raising a Child To Do The Right Thing

Little Things Do Matter

It is refreshing to witness a parent teaching a child to “do the right thing.” As part of the Child Advocacy parenting class, we loan our families interactive games that they can play together at home. Each week they either return the game they have and pick a new one, or they can keep the one they borrowed for another week.

On the first night of the class, one of the families chose a set of checkers to take home.
The following week the family’s five year old son came into the building holding the checkers set. The top of the box was partially ripped off. He walked over to me and said, “I should have asked for help opening this box instead of tearing the top off. I have brought money to buy a new game.” Inside the ripped apart box top were several dollars. The child’s Dad waited patiently for the child to finish his explanation. I accepted the torn box and the money and thanked the child for his honesty and for doing the right thing. He then said, “my Dad told me to.”

To use the “teachable moment” is an art worth developing. It means spending time with our children and being part of their world. Too often we expect our children to be part of our world and we want them to do it as briefly as possible! As part of the Child Advocacy Center parenting class, we encourage parents to spend a few minutes with their children each day in some form of interactive play. Play is the language of children. It is how they practice to be grown ups, and we are their models. When we make ourselves available for play, we open the door to communication through which our children can teach us about their impressions of the world. Our being available, for even a short while, says to the child “you are worthy of my time….I value you as a person.”

Teaching responsibility is more about what our children see us do than about what we say. It reminds me of a story I read by a son who was paying tribute to his father on Father’s Day. He told about going fishing with his father. They had fished most of the afternoon and dark was creeping upon them. At last, the boy got a bite! Excitedly he
pulled his line toward the dock and retrieved the fish. “Boy, Dad, I’m sure glad we didn’t leave or I wouldn’t have caught this fish.” The Dad, looking at his son with empathy, said
“Yes, son, it was fun for you to catch that fish, but you will have to throw it back. Remember the rule? Any fish weighing less than the limit has to be put back to grow some more.” The man writing the story told how having a father that taught him to
choose to do right had helped him to become a person of character.

If we want our children to make right choices, like the Dad of the five year old with the torn checker box, we need to spend time teaching them important life lessons. My guess is that the five year old will not repeat that behavior this week. We’ll see what happens!

For information about our parenting class, call the Child Advocacy Center at 705-0770