Congratulations, Mr. President

By Joe McAdory

By late tonight, all of the debates, nasty commercials, campaign BS and political rhetoric should give us a new president. That’s good because I’m tired of it all. The winner gets the honor of becoming the most scrutinized person in the free world and have burning effigies of yourself in the streets of Mideast nations. Congratulations.

Instead of spending millions on campaigns, perhaps we can find a simpler means to choose a president in 2012. Yeah, let’s run the candidates through a series of contests.

First, they must appear on American Idol and sing The Star Spangled Banner and their choice of any Depeche Mode selection.

After the talent portion of the contest, the candidates must compete in a physical event, either tug-of-war or catch the greasy pig. The winner here will go over big with the Kansas constituents.

Finally, the candidates must go head-to-head in Monopoly, a game that displays their economic prowess. Pennsylvania Avenue will be worth an arm and a leg.

I’m not saying which candidate is the best choice for our nation, but I do wonder ... in four years will today’s winner be glad he won?

Today’s mood music: Jingle Bells. Why not?

Link to ‘Last Honest Reporter’ column here

By Joe McAdory

Had the column “Would the last honest reporter turn out the lights?“ sent to me for publication recently. I can’t publish it. That belongs to Orson Scott Card, the man behind the piece. I can, however, provide a link to it.

So here it is: http://www.meridianmagazine.com/ideas/081017light.html

Obama the favorite, just not in Alabama

By Joe McAdory

I’m no Jimmy the Greek, but I might as well handicap Tuesday’s vote. Here’s what I think will happen in the races that have run cable news into the ground and hit us with more negative advertising than we are willing to stomach:

U.S. President: Recent polls indicate Democratic nominee Barack Obama to have nearly a 10-point leader over GOP candidate John McCain. I would guess there may be some substance to these polls, but I believe they may be a little bit closer. Still, I think Obama will have the presidency won before midnight Tuesday, but you never know. As for Alabama, McCain is a lock.

Senate: Haven’t seen anything that has led me to believe Democrat Vivian Figures would unseat Republican Jeff Sessions, so I’d think Sessions is a clear favorite to remain in Washington.

House Third Congressional District: What an ugly contest this has become. Meeting both candidates and listening to their points of view was fantastic. Watching the commercials made me want to puke. The Jay Love-Bobby Bright race gave me similar feelings, but I don’t have to vote in that race. I believe Rogers will win because Alabama traditionally goes Republican, but Segall has made the Rogers campaign folks work overtime.

Alabama PSC President: Again, Alabama has gone with GOP candidates of late, and former state GOP chair Twinkle Andress Cavanaugh should ride that wave with a win over former Lieutenant Governor Lucy Baxley.

Lee County Revenue Commissioner: I get the impression that Oline Price’s campaign is better-financed than challenger Bettye King judging by the number of signs I’ve seen. People are sometimes resistant to change, so I wouldn’t think they would vote against status quo at the court house. That said, I believe Price will win.

As for the judges ... I really don’t know so there’s no point of even getting into it.

Say it ain’t so, J-Fo

By Joe McAdory

At this moment I am mortified. It has nothing to do with politics, my bleak financial state, or that fact my home has no flooring.

The newsroom just got a disgusting telephone message ... from political afficionado Jennifer Foster.

One day, Jennifer is writing a highly intellectual column about American politics. The next, she’s sending messages from NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK concerts. Yes, she was Hangin’ Tough.

Terrible. Oh the shame.

Mood song for the day: Anything from Iron Maiden to wash out the New Kids song stuck in my head