We need to identify solutions, not problems

By Joe McAdory

Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby warned on CNN that President Obama’s financial stimulus package, if passed, would lead to an economic disaster. Whether or not it would, I don’t have the financial knowledge to make those predictions. Shelby may bring some knowledge to the table. After all, he’s the ranking Republican on the Senate Banking Committee.

What strikes me are the remarks made toward Shelby on ABC by Lawrence Summers, head of Obama’s National Economic Council.

“Those who presided over the last eight years—the eight years that brought us to the point where we inherit trillions of dollars of deficit, an economy that’s collapsing more rapidly than at any time in the last 50 years—don’t seem to me in a strong position to lecture about the lessons of history,“ he said.

That’s it, one party blaming another one. Imagine that.

Partisan leaders in this country will never find solutions to our problems when they continue to bury their heads in the sand finding problems with the other side. Don’t tell me problems. Tell me solutions, then do something about it.

I don’t know if we’re in for a financial meltdown or not, but I fear the situation might be irreversible and a complete overhaul of the banking industry could be in our future. Then again, I’m the guy who can’t find his keys half the time so what do I know?

It starts with this ...

By Joe McAdory

My son, Joseph, will soon be competing in a Pinewood Derby race. That said, we’ve got another car to build. I asked what theme he wanted and he said “Richard Petty.“ Odd answer for a 9-year-old, but pretty cool nonetheless.

I just happened to have an old Petty model kit with some decals, so this could turn out nicely. All I need now is some Day-Glo Orange paint and we can get started. I’ll post the finished project upon completion.

Football dreams blown away

By Joe McAdory

It appears one rising high school prospect, Billey Joe Johnson out of Mississippi had his sights set on signing with Auburn next February. That’s not going to happen. Read the story in the link below. It’s truly sad.

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news;_ylt=AsFIgHCO0ywfEUB4swVspH05nYcB?slug=ys-johnson020509&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Column: Hospital bed Twister played in cute green socks

By Joe McAdory

Here’s a column I wrote last week. Figured I’d run a pic of the green socks mentioned in the column here. I still have the socks and wear them on occasion, but I don’t tell people.

Bladders don’t care if you’re chained to a hospital bed with heart monitor wires glued to your chest. Bladders don’t care if you’re prohibited from moving your leg or raising your head. Bladders don’t care if you’re strictly prohibited from crawling off the mattress and sneaking into the nearest bathroom.

Bladders don’t call a time out, or make appointments to use the john when it’s most convenient.

When you gotta go, you gotta go.

And when you’re handed a bedpan that resembles a milk jug, you quickly figure out what to do with it. I won’t get into specifics, but navigating a bodily function into a plastic jug when you’re afraid to tangle the wires, you’re not permitted to move your leg, or even raise your head can be likened to a game of hospital bed Twister. Throw in a few hard sedatives and the game is taken to a psychedelic level.

After spending Monday morning in the cardiac catheterization lab at East Alabama Medical Center, I learned a good bit, am more appreciative of the people who dedicate their lives to helping others and even have a few ideas that could make hospital visits better.

First, it’s time to introduce patients to optional hospital-issued sweatpants. Look, I’m not talented enough to tie that freakin’ gown in the back and when I was coherent enough to walk to the bathroom on my own I probably mooned anyone in the immediate vicinity. Flexible sweatpants still allow doctors and nurses access to what they need to have access to and you won’t flash folks unless you simply feel the urge to do so.

Had another thought during my post-procedure trance … when physicians administer future patients with anesthesia, why not crank the catheter lab sound system with Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon? After all, I had become comfortably numb.
And then there were the hospital-issued little lime-green socks with smiley faces on the bottom. Cute. Very cute … if you’re a girl. I’m a dude. Dudes don’t wear little lime-green socks with smiley faces. How about some plain old white gym socks with baseballs or footballs on them?

So there I was wearing my cute little lime-green smiley-faced socks in my hospital moo-moo gown streaking across the hall with my rear end hanging out. Very manly indeed. I suddenly feel the urge to get a tattoo.

Regardless of the garb, I can’t say enough about the care I received and thoughtfulness presented by the staff there. I do believe my nurse is an angel. Maybe she’ll let me wear manly socks or steel-toed work boots next time.

I couldn’t help but smile when staffers presented me with a box of glazed doughnuts—my favorite. Somebody warmed a shiny, golden doughnut and served it to me moments after my procedure — even though I was too hospital stoned to remember the details. I might have eaten the napkin too.

There are very thoughtful people in this world and I’m blessed to have been in their care.

Not that my hyperactive bladder will ever cooperate.

Fourth quarter provided great drama

By Joe McAdory

Well, that Super Bowl certainly wasn’t a yawner. It’s still hard for me to believe I just watched a Super Bowl, I guess because the Cardinals were in it. No offense to Cards’ fans, but I’m not used to seeing them in the big show, or anywhere near it for that matter. I was pulling for them. To see the teams swap the lead twice in the final three minutes was pretty exciting. Big props to both squads.

I thought Arizona outplayed the Steelers and probably should have won. Three things made the difference for Pittsburgh: 1) James Harrison’s 100-yard interception return for a touchdown on the last play of the first half was potentially a 14-point turnaround all on one play. With Arizona threatening, the Cards could have scored and took a 14-10 lead. Instead, they trailed 17-7. 2) Arizona made too many costly mistakes and Pittsburgh didn’t. Penalties (of the 15-yard variety), can kill you. 3) Pittsburgh made the big plays when it needed to at the end. With the game on the line, Big Ben assumed the role of Joe Montana and Santonio Holmes played the role of John Taylor.

Is that the best Super Bowl I ever saw? Probably not, but it ranks pretty high. Last year’s was phenomenal. The Pats-Panthers game a few years back was great, so was the 49ers-Bengals in 1989, Packers-Broncos in 1998, Rams-Pats in 2002, Rams-Titans in 2000, Cowboys-Steelers in 1976 and Steelers-Rams in 1980. Maybe I’m forgetting one. Oh yeah, the Bills-Giants in 1991 too, except I had a distaste for both teams at the time so I try to forget about that one.

I must admit, I missed the first five minutes of the Super Bowl because I preferred to watch Kenny Perry and Charley Hoffman duel in a sudden-death playoff to win the FBR Open. Golf over football? The FBR Open over the Super Bowl? My God, what is happening to me?