Rain-X and the idiot

By Joe McAdory

Had to buy Rain-X the other day because my wipers only work when my left turn signal is displayed and I’m tired to driving around town looking like more of an idiot than I already am.

So, I pulled into an auto parts store and found the water-repellant in a yellow bottle. Rain-X in this bottle was different. It didn’t look like the traditional Rain-X bottle. Instead, it took on the appearance of a gel anti-perspirant bottles. Standing in the rain in the parking lot, I popped the cap and smeared the Rain-X on the windshield. A little here, a little there. I never thought about the fact that it didn’t look like any Rain-X was actually getting on the windshield.

I pulled away and I still couldn’t see. “I bought defective Rain-X,“ I thought. Fortunately it stopped raining and I could see again without guessing which direction my car was going.

Sunday I forcefully grabbed that Rain-X anti-perspirant-looking bottle, and when I did, a bunch of Rain-X squirted through the top of the bottle. Oh. So that’s how it comes out. Maybe I should have read the directions.

Idiot.