Being Committed to Parenting Your Youngster

Being Committed to Parenting Your Youngster

I became affiliated with Envision Opelika’s Character Education Council a couple of years ago and was invited to be part of a character education training for teachers.  I was so impressed with the program that I went home and wrote a weekly “morning meeting” for my family. It took commitment to write thirty-six weeks of material for our morning
meetings, but it was one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. How can family members not leave the house on a positive note if you have just spent fifteen minutes together talking about people who have made a difference in the world, or about things that make you feel thankful or blessed? It definitely helps us start out on a happy note.

As part of the Character Council’s plan to spread character education into the community and work place, I have agreed that on the first week of each month I will incorporate the character trait of the month into my parenting blog. This month, the word is “commitment.”

I looked at Webster’s definitions about commitment and found two or three variations of its meaning., at least in the context in which I will be using the word. To commit means to entrust, to hold to a certain line of conduct, to put into one’s charge or keeping. Isn’t that exactly what parenting is about? Are our children not entrusted into our keeping?
When we look at it in this light, the job of being a parent carries with it some pretty
weighty responsibilities. Let’s explore some of the responsibilities with which we are charged as parents.

We are charged with protecting our children, as best we can, from dangers in the world.
We may install home security systems, keep toxic substances out of our children’s reach, teach our children about “stranger danger,” provide medical treatment for illnesses, put aside funds to ensure their financial future, or regulate what they see and hear broadcasted via media outlets. We teach them our value system because we want them to have a strong foundation. The truth is, the most important commitment we can make is to protect them from harm, as best we can, while we teach them how to be responsible for themselves. Is that not our goal as parents? To launch our children into the world with the hope that we have equipped them well enough that they will be able to make it on their own? A larger question looms here for me. How do we teach our children that they can be “in the world” without being easy prey to the evils of the world?

As retired director of the Child Advocacy Center of East Alabama, Inc. I have seen many
parents blame themselves for not being able to protect their children from a predator. To harm an innocent child is unthinkable for most of us, so it is not surprising that we are at times caught “off guard.” Other times, things happen as a result of us not making the best decisions or judgments about people or situations. Bad things do happen to good people.

We don’t want our children to grow up and fight in wars or to be victims of terrorist attacks any more than we want them to be victims of an accident, an illness or a natural disaster. How do we equip our children to grow into responsible young adults?
First of all, we need to give them the security of a family who loves them no matter what.
To know that they have connectedness, whether as a refuge or as a place where family traditions are passed on.

We need to allow our children to safely explore the world around them under our watchful eye, reigning them in when they go past a safe boundary, yet allowing them
to learn from natural consequences, when appropriate.

We need to teach our children our faith values and to give them hope for the future.
Our children need to be taught that being cared about comes with caring for others.
They need to be taught to do what they can to make a difference in the world and in the lives of others.  This lesson is learned through the teaching of small examples and is
encompassed in the universal ’golden rule’ “Treat others as you would like to be treated.”
They need wrestle with the paradox that love is not love until its given away, and to love others, we must first love ourselves.

Does commitment to parenting our children end when they are grown and we are old?
No, I think not. Our children need to retain their sense of connectedness to us. This includes family celebrations, letting go of loved ones, and finding refuge in the storms of life.  And we need to keep working on making repairs when we, as parents, didn’t get it right. How are you living our your commitment to your children?

Throughout the month of August, I would like to continue to explore ways we can go about raising responsible children.