“Whistle While You Work”

Remember the seven dwarfs in “Snow White” singing “Hi ho, hi ho, its off to work we go?” and the song “Whistle While You Work?” Teaching children to be responsible for their things needs to be taught at an early age. Being a helper can be taught as early as eighteen months to two years of age. Before a toddler pulls out everything in the toy box, he can be taught to first put some things away. This makes the job more manageable and is an appropriate place to teach the “first, then rule.” Because the idea of putting things back before getting more out is a little hard for a two year old to understand. It may be easier, if the things that are picked up are placed in a different container, such as a plastic laundry basket for later dumping back into the toy box. That way, he can go to the toy box and see what else is there. Parents can make a game of it by singing a “clean up song” as things are picked up. If you don’t know a song, just make one up to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” or some other children’s song. Songs are a great way to help children connect ideas, because they can be quickly learned and repeated.

By requiring our children to participate in the family work, we are giving them the skills needed to complete tasks and to be productive. I still remember summer visits to my grandmother’s house and her rule about getting our jobs done before we could go swimming. I didn’t expect any reward for doing my jobs other than looking forward to hitting the lake when I got through. Nannie knew how to use the “first, then” rule well.

I recall that when our three children were all elementary school age we gave them jobs to do on Saturday morning. This, of course, didn’t happen without some resistance, since
cartoon shows and friends asking them to play made the jobs fairly unattractive. One particular Saturday morning, our 12 year old son informed me that he didn’t like doing his jobs. “It’s not fair,” he said, “I have to do all the “dirty jobs.” I said, “Oh, well I hadn’t thought about that. I’ll tell you what…next Saturday, we will put all the jobs into a jar and shake them up and each of you will draw the number of jobs you usually have to do. That way it will be fair. There is one thing you’ll have to keep in mind though. The jobs you get will be the luck of the draw.” The children asked if they could swap jobs if they didn’t like the ones they got. I told them that was fine with me as long as they had a firm agreement and the jobs got done. This system worked for a while, and then we had to change it up again. One of the things I learned as a parent is that children look for loopholes!

Sharing in the family work makes us responsible not only to ourselves, but to the others. This is an important life lesson. Things that we do or don’t do can positively or negatively affect others. Linda and Richard Eyre, authors of “Teaching Your Children Responsibility,” make these suggestions:

1) Whistle while you work. Show children that work can be fun and that
            seeing the results of one’s work is fulfilling.
2. Family jobs meetings - Have meetings to talk about how each person plays a
          part in keeping the family running smoothly. During the meeting, make a list of
          things that have to be done and divide these up. Jobs need to be age
  appropriate and clearly defined. Making a chore chart with a place to check
  off each job as it is completed is a good idea.

3. Tell ancestor stories - Tell about how hard people used to have to work to raise
    food, etc. (One of my favorite ancestor stories is about shelling butter beans
            and peas to can or freeze).

4. Take the day off - Suggest to the family that everyone take the day off from
  doing their jobs. The point is to let everyone see what happens when just one
          day goes by without the work getting done. It takes a lot to catch up on
          everything.

5. Job auction - Children need to learn to participate in the family work just
          because everyone should be expected to carry their “fair share” of the family
          workload. Other, extra jobs can be assigned that allow the children to earn
          pay for the work. These should be jobs that are outside the normal everyday
          tasks. Make a list of possible jobs and the amount of pay for each. Allow the
          children to pick a job off a job board. Be sure to pay quickly when a job is
          completed.

6. Build something together or grow a garden- Spend time on a project as a
          family or one-on-one with a child. Whether it is building a tree house, a bird
          house, or growing vegetables, seeing one’s handiwork makes one feel proud
          and the time spent together is priceless.

7. Teach children the spirit of cooperation - While teaching children about the
          family work ethic and its rewards, you are also teaching them the benefits of
          working cooperatively with others.

A family project to work on can be making pegboards for each child. A 2X4 with four
drilled holes in which pegs are inserted when jobs are completed is a fun and tangible way for youngsters to see their jobs to completion. A variation of this can be a board with cup hooks screwed into it to hold completed jobs that have been tied onto pieces of yarn. The children can make the jobs and string them onto the yarn and screw the hooks into the board. The more involved the children are in the planning, the more invested in doing the work.