Bob Sanders: Grace Jones made city better

What? You haven’t met Grace Jones? How in the world could you have missed her? For untold decades, she has been everywhere, getting into everything, going to parties, giving parties ...

I can’t remember exactly how we became acquainted. We wound up in the same Sunday School class, the iconic Seekers, and she wrote for the paper, and we had a lot of mutual friends, etc. I tried very unsuccessfully to teach her how to play bridge, but, alas, some people are unteachable

Her family and ours went on a picnic at Chewacla. A couple of things I’d just as soon forget happened. First, some people should never, never, never wear shorts. I’m one of those, but I wore shorts ... and shocked their daughter, Gail, out of three years growth.

And as we were about to eat lunch, a fellow at a nearby table hollered, “Hey, Bob. How ya doin’, man?”

“Fine,” I hollered back. “How about you, you ol’ sonofagun?”

A moment later Gail whispered, “Who was that man?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea,” I said.

“WHAT?” she screeched, “YOU DON’‘T KNOW WHO HE IS AND YOU JUST….”

There followed a lot of ssh, ssshing.

There was the time we stumbled on this catfish restaurant. The waitress was a kindly middle-aged lady. Allen (Grace’s husband) asked her about the lonely dirt road we had traveled to get there. “Where does this road go?”

“Why, it don’t go nowhere,” he replied, in a tone that said anybody who would ask such a question was a little tetched.

There were band camps. I can’t name many places I would less want to be, but Grace ate it up ... and encouraged our shy daughter to get out there and dance, etc. And she taught her how to sew, too.

There was the trip to Plains, Ga., and the harrowing ride from the Triangle with the driver looking at us in the back seat more than at the road.

The helicopter ride ... It was ROTC Day. Helicopters from Fort Benning were giving rides. Grace talked Frosty into taking one ... which was going all the way to Benning and back. Frosty was deathly sick by the time the went over Dean Road, and Grace was distancing herself, like, who is that strange woman? When Frosty stumbled in that afternoon and collapsed in the bed, the phone rang. A very official voice asked: “Is this the home of the Mrs. Sanders who took the helicopter ride?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Well, tell her she left something on it.”

“What?” I asked.

“Her breakfast, her lunch and last night’s supper.” (Turned out, it was Grace’s son.)
I just hope that when I get that old, I’ll have her pep and verve.

Great times. Auburn is a better place because of Grace. Love ya.

Bob Sanders is a longtime radio personality with WAUD in Auburn and writes a weekly column for the Opelika-Auburn News.