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November 18, 2009
Mary Belk: Lawsuits today have turned ridiculous
I was leaving the grocery store the other day carrying more plastic bags than I could handle comfortably. The automatic door opened and I got about halfway out when it slammed shut, bashing my arm.
November 04, 2009
Mary Belk: Football turned into business for colleges
All the recent football frenzy started me thinking about Babylonian temples. That’s right — Babylonian temples.
October 28, 2009
Mary Belk: Number of old gas stations runs on fumes
It’s unceasingly sad to see a good business forced to close down. It happens all the time, and we grumble and look around to see whose fault it is. I have a funny feeling we’re looking in all the wrong places. Thing is, it’s probably our fault.
October 21, 2009
Mary Belk: Writing isn’t as easy as some might believe
Years ago when my family was camping in the Smoky Mountains, we watched an old codger carve a bear out of a chunk of wood. Mesmerized, my daughter asked, “How do you do that?”
October 14, 2009
Mary Belk: You tired of depressing news? Me too
I’m sick to death of reading the sad side of the news. So I’ve collected some humorous stories to share.
October 07, 2009
Mary Belk: America here long before Columbus
I dislike all the hype about Christopher Columbus discovering America. Fact is, it wasn’t missing. Columbus was the one who was lost. He thought he was in the Indies, somewhere between Japan and India. That’s why he called the natives Indians.
September 30, 2009
Mary Belk: I remember when doctors came to see me
There’s one reason I wouldn’t mind being president. He doesn’t have to sit around in the waiting room of a doctor’s office.
September 24, 2009
Mary Belk: It’s never too late to save the rivers
At the end of the Ice Age when the glaciations melted, water changed the face of the earth. People started settling down, and when they did, they lived by rivers. The dugout canoe was invented, and for centuries the main roads were rivers.
September 17, 2009
Mary Belk: Theaters under the stars were best
What ever happened to drive-in movies? For that matter, who even remembers them? A 12-year-old girl interviewed on a television newscast said well, of course, she knew what a drive-in movie was. “You sit outside in lawn chairs and watch a big-screen TV.”
September 09, 2009
Mary Belk: Auburn really was a village 40 years ago
Sweet Auburn … the loveliest village of the plains. No kidding. Auburn really was a village 40-something years ago.
September 02, 2009
Mary Belk: I don’t dread Labor Day
“It’s an outrage! All these holidays clog-hoppin’ up the year,” Pogo’s friend Bun Rabbit protested.
August 26, 2009
Mary Belk: English language isn’t rational
Buffy: “Can Jody and me go out and play?” Mother: “May Jody and I go out and play.”
Buffy: “Aw, Mom, we wanna play by ourselves.”
Okay, it’s an old joke, but what parent hasn’t had a similar exchange?
August 19, 2009
Mary Belk: Horse-trading tops horse racing any day
Whoever said, “Ignorance is bliss” never bought a horse. Anybody who’s purchased one knows it can be tricky business.
August 12, 2009
Mary Belk: We don’t get older, we get better
“Age,” according to African-American baseball great Satchel Paige, “is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind,” he said, “it doesn’t matter.”
August 05, 2009
Mary Belk: Good shoe repair shops hard to find
I held my pony’s lead rope and watched the farrier trim her cracked, overgrown hooves. The scraping sound lulled me into a kind of dreamy spell, and it occurred to me that it’s hard to find skilled craftsmen these days.
July 29, 2009
Mary Belk: Maturity has its advantages
Maybe part of my midlife crisis is that sometimes I just get sick to death of doing the same old thing. That happened the other day, and I turned off my computer, jumped in my Hyundai and started driving. I ended up on a county road, and I pulled up to a ramshackle country store.
July 22, 2009
Mary Belk: Dime Store era was something to behold
When it comes to possessions, I’m 100 percent American. Why in the world are we all so fond of our stuff? Whenever something gets broken, chipped, torn, worn out, or lost, I tend to grieve. Whether it’s an old coffee cup or a dog-eared paperback.
July 15, 2009
Mary Belk: We’ve got pharmaceutical goods in garden
Imagine my surprise when I read a report from the Alabama Poison Control Center describing the application of meat tenderizer to an insect bite as “folk medicine.”
July 09, 2009
Mary Belk: Things were different before the advent of air conditioning
I hate hot weather. Of course I always say that in July. In February, I detest cold weather. On the coldest day of the year, we see pictures of snowdrifts covering barns and rangers on snowmobiles rescuing blizzard-stranded families trapped in cars. Cold is portrayed as an enemy to be conquered.
June 24, 2009
Mary Belk: Nothing like a night in old stagecoach inn
Fast moving, rumble, tumble stagecoaches. They call to mind teams of lathered horses at a dead run, corset-encased ladies delicately dabbing moisture from their brows, Bible-toting preachers dressed in black, and bad-boy gamblers with hidden handguns.
June 17, 2009
Mary Belk: Nothing better than my trusty old VW Beetle
Man, how I loved that car. It was light mint green. And it had the lines of a fat lady in the circus. It had running boards and four-on-the-floor, and the lawnmower-sized engine was in the rear.
June 12, 2009
Mary Belk: Plenty of treasure in other folks’ junk
This time of year, you can sometimes find me foraging on weekends.
June 03, 2009
Mary Belk: Remember when Ali was Cassius Clay?
So far, nobody’s sent me a birthday card saying I’m older than dirt. But I’ve been around for quite a while. Long enough to have seen lots of changes.
May 27, 2009
Mary Belk: Vacations are an American tradition
“Having fun — wish you were here!” It’s the traditional message scratched on the back of a postcard. On the front, various vistas. The Grand Canyon. The Eiffel Tower. Trafalgar Square. The Empire State Building. St. Simon’s Island. Cinderella’s Castle. Or the world’s largest ear of corn. The picture isn’t important. Neither is the message.
May 20, 2009
Mary Belk: Some changes hard to get used to
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in a half-century of living, it’s this: The one thing that never changes is that things always change.
May 14, 2009
Mary Belk: Simple things make life a little better
Did you ever hop into an Edsel, pop the top off a Fresca, stick some Bo Didley in the eight-track player and cruise down Route 66? Sometimes I look back like a Sunday morning quarterback and wonder what happened to some sure-fire consumer goods that made a splash, then became flops.
May 06, 2009
Mary Belk: Old age can open your eyes to childhood
Southern writer Flannery O’Connor said that if we survived childhood we have enough writing material to last a lifetime. But I’m not so sure.
April 22, 2009
Mary Belk: Bird-watching can be for anybody
What do you get when you feed the birds? Fat birds. So says Mr. Banks in the movie Mary Poppins. But for me it means more.
April 15, 2009
Mary Belk: Something was always for supper
For years I ate supper. Supper was between five and six o’clock, and the whole family showed up at the table on time to eat. I lived in the Deep South then.
April 08, 2009
Mary Belk: Spring weather has become unpredictable
The last fireplace fire of the season should be a time of celebration — a gathering of family and friends, the breaking of bread, the sharing of stories, the singing of songs.
