‘I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose!‘

If only Wally World were still open. Or ever existed. We’d probably be on our way right now.

That’s right, after scrapping together as much news as we possibly could for the past couple slow months on the Auburn beat, we’re finally getting the heck out of Dodge and going on a little vacay.

And just like Clark Griswold, we believe that getting there is half the fun. So we’re taking our own version of the Antarctic blue Super Sports Wagon with C.B. and optional rally fun pack and hitting up a number of destinations.

There are plenty of “theres” on this three-week, furlough-infused extravaganza. We’ll be going there, there, there, there, flying out to there, then back to there, before we rekindle some memories there and make our way back here.

We’ll be back just in time for SEC Media Days, which is the official kickoff to a five-or-so-month stretch where we don’t plan on taking a day off. Until then, keep up with this guy, this guy and even this guy for all your Auburn news.

We’ll be too busy trying to get by when we have to trade in our sports wagon for the Wagon Queen Family Truckster.

2009 Previews: LSU

The smell of corndogs fills the air as we head to LSU for Preview No. 14. Previews of all 65 BCS conference schools, plus Notre Dame and state schools, in no particular order, will run daily through Aug. 22

Esteemed O-A News sports editor Mike Szvetitz and I were discussing the other day the various ways coaches have made things difficult for reporters over the past decade or so.

Closing off access, not talking to reporters as much, misleading information and the like.

This led to a discussion of something new Auburn coach Gene Chizik often says in his rare appearances with the media.

“I’m just trying to win football games.“

An admirable goal for a coach, to be sure. But is it really so hard you can’t take five minutes to talk to a reporter? Or to just try to live the life of a normal human for a moment?

All this is to say, winning football games is definitely not easy, but it can’t be that hard. Les Miles has won 70 of them.

The Mad Hatter is back for his fifth season in Baton Rouge, coming off a disappointing but not totally unexpected 8-5 season in 2008.

But there’s plenty of reason for optimism, and it starts at quarterback.

After rotting on the bench for the majority of the year while Jarrett Lee and Andrew Hatch submarined the season all by themselves, Jordan Jefferson looked fantastic in the loss to Arkansas (which wasn’t his fault) and the throttling of Georgia Tech in the Chick-fil-A Bowl (I will give Miles this: Give him a solid month to prepare and he will destroy you, just ask Larry Coker, Charlie Weis, Jim Tressel and Paul Johnson).

Jefferson is back for his sophomore year and while not officially the starter, I doubt you’ll see Mr. Seven Pick-Sixes again.

Bruising running back Charles Scott and solid wide receiver Brandon LaFell are also back, giving Jefferson plenty of options.

The Bayou Bengals do have to replace a couple starters on the offensive line, but the line hasn’t been a problem for them in quite a while, so I doubt it will be this year.

Defensively, there’s a bit of work to do.

The Tigers must replace No. 3 NFL draft pick Tyson Jackson and two other starters on the line, but they’ve also churned out defensive lineme like no one’s business over the years.

The linebacking corps and secondary return mostly intact, but neither were particularly great last season, so new defensive coordinator John Chavus will have plenty to keep himself busy with.

They also have to replace kicker Colt David, who I swear has been there since I was in high school, but still have Trindon Holliday to return kicks, which is a nice thing to have.

I maintain that LSU is on its way down and the fans will want Miles out by the end of next year, but they should be pretty good this season.

Here’s the schedule:

Sept. 5: at Washington
The Tigers have made a living out of getting Pac-10 teams when they’re not very good over the past decade. But, while it’s such a longshot it’s probably not even on the Vegas board, I could see in the wildest of wild scenarios an upset here.

Sept. 12: Vanderbilt
This isn’t the cakewalk it once was, but LSU should win.

Sept. 19: Louisiana-Lafayette
The Tigers give their in-state brethren a nice paycheck and then beat them to death. How altruistic.

Sept. 26: at Mississippi State
Super-mild upset potential here, but LSU should win handily.

Oct. 3: at Georgia
I never thought I’d see the day where an SEC team played three of its first five on the road. Anyway, as I’ve said numerous times I’m not a big believer in Georgia this year. Tigers get some measure of revenge from last year’s debacle in Death Valley.

Oct. 10: Florida
LSU should be 5-0 heading into this one. Florida will beat them enough for two losses.

Oct. 24: Auburn
While Auburn’s not going to be very good this year, this is probably the only time they’re going to get just manhandled.

Oct. 31: Tulane
Rivalry renewed. LSU really should be playing Tulane in New Orleans every year for the next decade or so to help them after all their Katrina problems.

Nov. 7: at Alabama
The Tide will struggle early, but should have their act together by this point and will send Miles packing.

Nov. 14: Louisiana Tech
More Louisiana fun!

Nov. 21: at Ole Miss
LSU seems to play better in this series when the game’s in Oxford, and vice versa, but I think Ole Miss wins here. But more on that when we get to the Rebels.

Nov. 28: Arkansas
Maybe with the game moved away from Friday weird things will stop happening when these two play.

The only sure loss on this list is Florida, but they’ll drop two more (Alabama and/or Ole Miss or an upset) and put together a 9-3 season.

Another hot weeknd at the LBWC

Another scorching week at the Lazy Blog. It wasn’t this hot, but it was still pretty toasty.

But no worries, the kiddie pool was in full effect.

And before all the water is splashed out, let’s get on with this week’s LBWC.

5) Saturday morning. Who needs an alarm clock?

I haven’t set an alarm in 4 1/2 years. Why?

I’ve got kids.

And in the Lazy House, you can be sure of three things: 1) Fabric softener will always be used; 2) There will always be cookies in the cookie jar; and 3) One, if not both, of my kids will be up with the sun. Even on weekends. If it’s light, it’s go time.

I’m just glad we don’t live in Alaska.

4) Friday night. The boys and girls of summer.

It’s that time of year in our lovely community: Dixie All-Star baseball and softball. Friday night, I was out at the baseball fields to cover an All-Star sub-district tournament.

Making an All-Star team is one of the highlights of a young boy or girl’s life. I remember every All-Star team I ever made (it’s real easy, you only need one finger to count them).

The chance to continue playing in the summer and being recognized as one of the best players in the league is a great honor. Plus, all the cool shirts that have your name on them and all the writing on all the car windows as you travel around to tournaments is just about as cool as it can get for a 9, 10, 11 or 35 year old.

And it should be enjoyed.

And by the looks of it Friday night at Opelika West Ridge Park, and even earlier in the week when I covered Auburn’s 11-12-year-old
tournament at Duck Samford Park, fun was definitely on the menu.

I hope the game stays that enjoyable. And innocent.

3) Friday. Look at me, Daddy.
The Busy Baby finished up swimming lessons Friday at Opelika Rec Center. She can now, officially, doggy paddle.

It was a big day.

She can also jump off a diving board, put her head all the way under, and, of course, get water up her nose.

2) Saturday. Party all the time.

Saturday morning we hit one of my good friend’s daughter’s birthday party. She turned 2. And like any 2-year-old’s birthday party, we had plenty of cup cakes, Rice Krispy Treats and Capri Suns.
Have you ever tried to stab the straw into a Capri Sun? It’s virtually impossible. I think even surgeons have a hard time with this.

Then, Saturday evening, I attended another birthday party. This one was for my good friend and former colleague, Collin Mickle. You know him from the Opelika-Auburn News’ “My Five Cents” fame.

Collin’s party (shhh, it was a surprise) was at his girlfiend’s house on the lake. A great time was had by all.

Even the mosquitoes who feasted on my legs, arms and neck like I was a Shoney’s buffet.

1) Sunday night. Boom!

In the spirit of the Fourth of July, my church held a little get together for food, fun and fireworks.

It was the best firework show a couple sparklers and bottle rockets can produce.

The kids loved it.

But it was very difficult to tell what they liked best—the actual explosions, or the debris from the fireworks.

Who knew burnt cardboard was so popular?

2009 Previews: Texas A&M

We go to Texas A&M for Preview No. 13. Previews of all 65 BCS conference schools, plus Notre Dame and state schools, in no particular order, will run daily through Aug. 22

And now, the sad tale of Texas A&M.

Remember R.C. Slocum? Probably not, but the guy won a lot of football games when he was coaching the Aggies.

For some reason, the fans there never really liked him. And after a 6-6 season in 2002, they ran him off in favor of Dennis Franchione.

That didn’t go so well.

So once they ran off Coach Fran, they thought about getting Tommy Tuberville but instead wound up going with former Green Bay Packers coach Mike Sherman, an incredibly uncharismatic individual who was moderately successful in the NFL.

They went 4-8 in Sherman’s first season.

This year, 13 starters are back, including nine on offense, but things aren’t likely to improve too much.

Most of the playmakers are back, including quarterback Jerrod Johnson and running back Cyrus Gray. Assuming Johnson manages to hold on to the job, sometimes quarterback Ryan Tannehill will remain at wide receiver, where he was fairly explosive last season.

The offensive line returns mostly intact, but it wasn’t very good last year so that’s not necessarily a great thing.

Defensively, the Aggies only return four starters. And that’s probably a good thing, because that unit allowed 449 points in 2008. So much for the Wrecking Crew, eh?

Let’s take a look at the schedule:

Sept. 5: New Mexico
The Aggies very nearly lost at New Mexico last year a week after losing to Arkansas State.

Sept. 19: Utah State
Aggies vs. Aggies, but the Aggies we’re focusing on here will roll.

Sept. 26: UAB
Playing the Blazers cures a lot of ills.

Oct. 3: vs. Arkansas (at Arlington, Texas)
The Cowboys stadium managed to land a bunch of games this year. The Hogs will win big here.

Oct. 10: Oklahoma State
Last year’s new tradition of getting smoked at home is renewed.

Oct. 17: at Kansas State
If they’re going to sneak their way into a bowl game, they’ve gotta win this one.

Oct. 24: at Texas Tech
And maybe pulling off the upset here wouldn’t hurt, either.

Oct. 31: Iowa State
As mediocre as A&M is, they should pound the Chizik Orphans.

Nov. 7: at Colorado
The Buffs should be improved this year.

Nov. 14: at Oklahoma
The Sooners might make last year’s 66-28 game look pedestrian in comparison.

Nov. 21: Baylor
Bears! Aggies! Fifth place in the Big 12 South on the line!

Nov. 26: Texas
Ugly.

This team will be better than last year’s, but not by much. And the record will probably be exactly the same, or maybe 5-7.

What hit the cutting room floor in our chat with Jay Jacobs

We already got the juiciest quote out of the way Friday. And we put a lot of words in the newspaper today.

So what on Earth does Jay Jacobs still want to tell you?

Quite a bit, actually.

Here’s what would appear on the “special features” section of the DVD.

How planned was the athletic department for this economic tumult?
Our budget starts July 1 and we start budget planning in January, and that was a time where the economy wasn’t very good at all. The university started over a year ago with no raises and we didn’t know particularly what kind of funding the university was going to get and how much the tuition increase was going to cost, so we had to prepare for those. Each year, we go through the same budgeting process, but you also have to look at what your expenses are going to be and what your revenue is going to be. We do an exceptional job of forecasting where we may end up.

Was this year particularly difficult?
It makes it difficult because you have to be more sensitive to what may or may not happen, particularly in this economy. But, you know, because we have already established our July budget, we’ve already planned for this upcoming year. If we get through the next few months of this economic whatever it is, downturn or upturn, we’ll have a better idea in January for what the next year holds.

What did the decision to not replace associate AD Mark Richard come down to?
One part of it was financial, the other part was to give other people an opportunity to get more experience. We took what Mark Richard was doing with sport oversight and we gave a couple people that had wanted to have that experience, but didn’t have the opportunity to, so we gave them the opportunity to oversee a sport.

Auburn’s generating a whole lot of revenue compared to other athletic departments. That’s a good thing, right?
The great thing is that the Auburn people, they continue to support Auburn University and Auburn athletics. That report was actually from last year, so just appreciate their willingness to be able to contribute and support Auburn University. We’re very proud of Auburn people that are willing to give back.

Evaluate baseball coach John Pawlowski after his first season.
He’s the guy that’s going to get it done. He’s got a great plan and he’s the kind of guy that represents Auburn well. Somebody that’s part of the Auburn family. He wants to win academically and athletically more than any of us. He’s the right guy to get it turned around. We knew what we were getting into this first year. We’ll continue to see improvement in our baseball program with John’s leadership.

You have a new golf coach, UCF’s Nick Clinard.
Nick is one of those guys that has proven he’s had top recruiting classes over the last five years. Won the conference championship last year, top 10 in the nation. No. 1 thing was his character and integrity and just when he walks in the room, you just know he’s the guy you can trust and count on, do the right thing and do it the Auburn way. It’s great to have him on board.

Men’s golf and volleyball have been pretty wretched over the past few years. What goes into rebuilding a program?
Everything goes into it trying to help them turn the corner. They know more about what is best for them to succeed academically and athletically more than anybody else. My job, our job as administration, whether it’s sports medicine, academic counselor or myself, is to give them the best opportunity to compete. To recruit the highest caliber person and athlete and be able to provide the best circumstances for the student athletes and coaches and that’s what we do.

Are they even close to being there?
Because of the recruiting class that Mike Griffin left us, bringing in five freshmen, I think we’re in a good spot. I don’t know how long it will take to compete for the SEC championship. Women’s volleyball is probably two years away from being able to compete at the level Wade Benson would like them to. It just depends how everything works out and how everyone in the league is as well. Any time you change coaches, it takes a little bit more time then when you don’t.

Speaking of coaching changes, you like Gene Chizik, right?
I knew him before he was here and I suspected he could be a great head coach. After that interview and after having to interview other coaches, I knew he was the right guy for the job. He had a plan, he had been in this league before, he knew what a great team ought to look like because he was here in ‘04. He knew what a national championship ought to look like because he won one in Texas the next year. He was the nation’s top assistant coach after the 2004 season. I knew that he knew what it took to compete from the Southeastern Conference and I knew he was the kind of man with character and integrity because of knowing him before. My feeling isn’t any different than it was six months ago.

What’d you see in him back in the day?
It wasn’t as much as what I saw in him, as much as I saw in the players he coached. They always talked about him. They always talked about Coach Chiz. I’d ask them what’s up with that guy. ‘Hey, he loves us, he works us hard, he teaches us and he cares about us.‘ Those are the things that people like Junior Rosegreen and Carlos Rogers and those people would say about him. And it’s one thing to love a coach, it’s another thing to respond. They loved him and responded. It was just, that speaks volumes for a mans ability to lead a team and to coach and do the things that are necessary to raise men and win championships.

(Photo credit: Todd Van Emst)