You down with BJCC?

Yeah, you know me. And if you do, you also know I have a treasure trove of horrible jokes for you guys.

So I’m back in Birmingham, and this time it’s for three games. I had enough of that one-game-a-day nonsense from Tuesday. I’m here to cover two Class 6A semifinals: Smiths Station’s girls against No. 3 Hoover at noon and No. 5 Central’s boys against Vestavia Hills at 1:30. Then I’m taking about four hours of my furlough and coming back for Loachpoka’s boys taking on No. 6 Parkway Christian in the 1A finals tonight.

But that’s getting ahead of myself. First, let’s turn to Smiths/Hoover.

Smiths (29-4) was able to survive the South Regional in a large part because 6-foot-2 junior Erika Jones dominated smaller competition. She’s not going to have that luxury against the Bucs (29-5). Hoover has two imposing post players in 6-foot-2 Alabama commitment K. T. Garrett and 6-foot Kanesha Burch,

Smiths is going to need leading scorer DeJah Heard to get off the schneid in order to have a chance. I’m also informed by Birmingham News Hoover writer Wesley Hallman that the Bucs can apply some fairly devastating ball traps when they want to. And the Panthers struggled with turning the ball over in Troy.

Smiths Station lost to No. 2 Bob Jones earlier this season, 80-32. The Panthers have improved a lot since then, and the gulf from No. 2 to No. 3 is fairly big, but it’s going to take a lot for Smiths to pull the upset in this one.

The Panthers are going to have to slow the tempo, find a way to consistently break Hoover’s press and hope Heard can play more like she did in the regular season.

Did I mention they also have to worry about Jazmine Martin, the Bucs’ leading scorer at 15.2 points per game?

The preceding boys’ game is about to end, so we should have the tip in about 20 minutes. Stay tuned. Please?

12:16 p.m.: Well, Jones has two fouls already, and that means trouble for the Panthers. 2:37 to go in the first and Hoover has opened a 14-4 lead.

Heard is still a little off on offense and she got royally packed a second ago.

12:21 p.m.: End of the first and Hoover leads 17-9.

It looks like a little bit of the shock has worn off for Smiths, and it started playing some decent basketball toward the end of the quarter. If Jones can stay out of foul trouble when she gets back in, it would help a lot.

12:36 p.m.: End of the first half and Hoover leads 34-25.

Smiths is definitely still in this. The Panthers even tied the game at 23 before the Bucs went on an 11-2 run to end the half.

Jones and Heard have been largely non-factors. But Vannessa Peterson and Achaia Cobb have picked up the slack. Peterson has 10 points and five rebounds, and Cobb has 6 points and a couple of steals.

Hoover might just have too many weapons, though. Martin has 8, and 6-foot freshman Kayla Anderson has come off the bench to score 9.

Second half coming…

12:49p.m.: 6:05 to go in the third and the score has not budged: 34-25 Hoover.

Both teams look U-G-L-Y in the early going here. And they ain’t got no alibi.

1:00 p.m.: End of the third and this game is all but over. Hoover leads 48-29. That’s a 25-6 run since Smiths tied the score.

Just too many big bodies for Hoover. And then they kick it out to the perimeter and the Bucs have the shooters to knock down some 3s. Eight minutes to go.

1:14 p.m.: That’s the game. Hoover 58-33. Smiths scored 8 points in the second half. But they did have a great season. The best in school history, in fact.

1:35 p.m.: 2:28 to go in the first and Vestavia Hills is running Central out of the building. The Rebels lead 10-2, much to the delight of their SRO fan section(s).

It looks like the butterflies are hitting for the Red Devils. Can Bobby Wright calm his guys down?

1:41 p.m.: First quarter down and Vestavia leads 12-3.

Central does not look comfortable at all. It is only 1-of-10 from the field, and the Red Devils are definitely letting the Rebels dictate their slow, slow, slow, slow (did I say slow?) tempo.

Start of the second.

1:45 p.m.: 5:24 to go and Central has cut it to 12-5.

Joseph Thompson has 3 for the Red Devils. Vestavia is taking forrrrrrrrever to shoot. Central needs to run to have a chance.

1:56 p.m.: End of the half and we have a football game: Vestavia Hills leads 16-10.

The Rebels are more than dictating the pace. They are cramming it down Central’s throats. And every time Central runs, it makes a mistake.

Thompson is playing like he’s 6-foot-4, which he has been all along. You just forget sometimes when he blocks eight shots in a game.

Darren Daniel has been sitting for most of the half after picking up his third foul in the first quarter. The Red Devils are going to need his handling and driving ability in the second half.

Jordan Swing, the Rebels’ 6-foot-6 Western Kentucky commit, has 6 points and 10 rebounds, and Christopher Taylor also has 6.

Thompson has 3 points and three rebounds. That’s about it for Central. The Red Devils are shooting 19 percent (4-of-21) from the field. The teams have combined to shoot 8-of-37 (21.6 percent) from the field. Eesh.

On to the third…

2:15 p.m.: 3:24 to go in the third and Central trails 25-15.

They had gone scoreless for 5:28 before two Daniel free throws broke the string. Things aren’t looking good, but they’ve shown a little life in the past two possessions.

2:22 p.m.: 13 seconds to go in the third and Vestavia leads 27-19.

Central is starting to ratchet up the pressure and is getting some results on the defensive end. They just aren’t translating into any offense. Daniel has 6 in the quarter, and he’s a huge reason the Red Devils are still in it.

2:23 p.m.: Swing’s shot at the buzzer rimmed out, and that’s our score at the end of three: Vestavia 27-19.

Central has got to find a way to push the tempo. It is trying, it just can’t figure out how to run on the Rebels and actually make it count.

Fourth quarter coming up.

2:32 p.m.: 5:22 to go in the game and Central trails 30-26.

That tempo pushing I’ve been talking about is finally here and Central is benefiting. Daniel just picked up his fourth foul on a charge call that was questionable at best, doubtful more likely and horrible at worst.

Thompson is at the line shooting one more…and he misses. Four-point game.

2:36 p.m.: Daniel fouled out with 4:02 to go and Central down 32-31. He was their offense.

2:41 p.m.: King just hit a 3 to tie the game at 37. Then Swing was fouled and he’s shooting two. Misses the first. Hits the second. 38-37 VH with 1:30 to go.

2:44 p.m.: OK. So 1:17 to go and Vestavia’s Adam Poer is fouled. Then he throws a punch, gets called for a tech (which counts as his fifth foul) and gets ejected. So Taylor makes his two free throws for him. Then King gets to shoot two on the other end and misses them both. Central ball down 40-37 with 1:17 to go.

2:47 p.m.: 16 seconds left and this one’s over. Vestavia is up 42-37 and Swing is going to the line. Hits one, 43-37.

2:50 p.m.: Game: Vestavia 44, Central 37.

Just no offense in the first half. They spent about 16 minutes treading water.

8:08 p.m.: It’s about five hours later, I’m about 10 pounds heavier thanks to Full Moon Barbecue, and we’re about 10 minutes away from the start of the 1A title game between Loachapoka and Parkway Christian.

Poka has made the top two teams in the state look silly the last two times out, and it faces the No. 6 Wildcats tonight with its first state title in 12 years on the line. Parkway (and its coach, former Auburn player Zane Arnold) is looking for its first ring.

Jontavius Willis and Quindravius Richardson got going early in the semis for the Indians and never stopped, combining for 44 points. Poka is bigger than Parkway Christian, but coach Terry Murph said he was impressed by how disciplined the Wildcats were in their OT win over J.F. Shields in the semis. And sometimes, a cool head beats ones that are taller than it. Or something.

Parkway’s 6-foot-2 forward Rashad White is a force on the inside, averaging 9.6 rebounds a game to go along with his 10.3 points. It should be an interesting matchup between him and the Indians’ Tommy White, Jr. (18 ppg and 11 rpg). Stephen Sewell is the Wildcats’ leading scorer at 15.6 points per game, and also tallies 5.2 assists per game. Devin McNeil is Parkway’s 6-foot-1 point guard and averages 10.1 points and 6.0 assists per game.

There are going to be a lot of 6-foot-1 to 6-foot-3 players running around out there. It’s just a matter of which group plays bigger.

Will the Indians be listening to “We Are the Champions” afterward with smiles on their faces or tears in their eyes? Only the next 32 minutes will tell.

And with that overly dramatic intro…let’s play some basketball. 

8:36 p.m.: 3:50 to go in the first and the score is tied 4-4.

It’s kind of a lethargic start for both teams, I don’t know if it’s nerves or what. Both seem like they’re not playing at full speed, but they can’t go any faster. If that makes any sense. Kind of a bloated sensation. Maybe they went back for seconds before the game like I did.

8:45 p.m.: End of the first and Parkway leads 12-5.

Poka looks all out of sorts. The Indians are only 2-of-8 from the field and have turned the ball over five times. Worse, they are letting Parkway entice them into playing a halfcourt game. What is it with these Southeast Alabama teams that like to push the pace, then come up to Birmingham and get dragged into the muck by Hammer teams?

8:52 p.m.: You see what happens when you get out on the break? Poka has scored on consecutive trips by slinging that ball up the court. The Indians trail 12-11 with 5:02 to go in the half.

8:58 p.m.: Poka just tied up the score at 15 with 2:14 to go in the half.

White is slowly starting to exert himself down low. He has 8 points and nine rebounds. Though he could have had more points - he’s missed at least three putbacks.

9:05 p.m.: Halftime and the score it knotted at 19.

Poka has shown signs of breaking out of its offensive malaise, but it’s still not up to the level it has shown over the past couple weeks.

The Indians are only 9-of-24 (37.5 percent) from the field and can’t get much of a rhythm on offense. And White and Marvin Hunter both have three fouls. So that could negatively affect the whole “size advantage” theory in the second half.

9:29 p.m.: Welcome to the title game, Jontavius Willis.

The Indians’ guard was largely invisible in the first half, but has 8 in this quarter, spurring Poka to a 29-22 lead with 3:12 to go in the third quarter.

9:37 p.m.: Well, both teams shot a lot, but not many of them went in. Poka is up 31-24 heading into the fourth.

It’s going to be hard to muster much excitement for the fourth quarter the way this game’s been going. Even the players look a little bored. Parkway is shooting 25 percent after making only two baskets in the third quarter.

But, Poka is still eight minutes from its first title in 12 years. No matter how underwhelming the title game was.

9:41 p.m.: And in the first minute of the fourth quarter…some life. Poka leads 36-28.

That’s a combined 9 points in the first minute if you’re counting. The two teams scored 17 during the third.

White took a little breather - for like a quarter - but now he’s back and making and-ones.And dishing to Hunter, who lays it in to put Poka up 38-28.

9:46 p.m.: Timeout Poka, and it leads 40-28. White is getting deep in the lane at will now. And it’s starting to get that old familiar feeling of Poka: too fast, too tall, too good.

9:50 p.m.: We’re at the final media timeout (that break with this game, so unnecessary - put that to the tune of Jay Z’s “Change Clothes” and get back to me) and Poka leads 42-31 with 3:27 to go and Willis going to the line.

Parkway has not shown it can provide much menace on offense, having scored 12 points in the past 12:33. So an 11-point lead might be more than enough for the Indians.

9:57 p.m.: 99 seconds until Poka can start celebrating in earnest.

The Indians lead 47-33, and barring a meteor strike or something, they will win the 1A title.

The Poka fans have to be the best chanters ever. They’re very coordinated and they all know the words. And they’re loud. That’s always a good trait for chanters.

10:07 p.m.: Game over. Poka wins the state title 53-37. First time since 1997. Did I say that already?

Hey, one more thing. Check out Cliff Williams’ slide shows from all three games today: Here’s Smiths, here’s Central’s, and here’s Poka’s.

K. Thanks.

(Photo credit: Vasha Hunt/ Opelika-Auburn News)

Six degrees of separation: Auburn edition

OK, so it’s more like one or two degrees.

But former News prep writer and current News editorial page editor Joe McAdory brought to my attention the fact that Zane Arnold, the coach of the Class 1A Parkway Christian Wildcats’ boys basketball team, played at Auburn University in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

And his Wildcats are taking on Loachapoka for the 1A state championship in Birmingham tomorrow night at 8 p.m.

Arnold is in his fifth year coaching Parkway, has a 77-46 career record, and has the Wildcats one game away from their first-ever state championship.

Thanks for the heads up, Joe.

A few good minutes with…

Lee-Scott’s Melissa Maddox, Jessie Washington and Olivia Maddox.

That’s Melissa on the left, then Jessie, then Olivia. The three recent state champions took the approximately 17 minutes they had between the end of basketball season and the beginning of their various spring sports seasons, and decided to spend them with me. And for that I thank them.

Here’s a sampling of what we talked about. And be sure to look out for my feature on these three, which is set to run…at some point in the future.

What are some of your favorite books?
O. Maddox: The Bible. I don’t really read anything other than that. I’m not a big reader: I’m outside most of the time.
M. Maddox: There was that book by Chette Williams that you liked.
O. Maddox: Oh, yeah - Hard Fighting Soldier by Chette Williams, the Auburn football chaplain.
Washington: Ooh, Quiet Strength. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
M. Maddox: A Purpose Driven Life. That’s a pretty good one, too.

What’s playing on your iPods right now?
O. Maddox: Heart of a Champion and Champion by Flipside. That’s, like, all I listened to the entire week of States. That was it.

(At this point, your intrepid reporter flexed his pop culture muscles and asked if “Heart of a Champion” was that Nelly song set to the NBA on NBC music…)
O. Maddox: Yeah, we’d warm up to that song. Every time me and Jessie would look at each other and just die laughing, like, ‘We love this song!“
M. Maddox: It makes me feel like I’m invincible. You’re sitting there doing this (bobs her head) and you think, “Oh, I look stupid, but I feel awesome.“
O. Maddox: You can’t help but dance to it.

Do you have any hidden talents?
O. Maddox: Melissa plays the accordion.
M. Maddox: Yeah, my grandma gave it to me and I’ve just kind of fooled around with it. My mom and I will play some old songs and hymns. I played it for children’s church once, for all these little kids. They were like, “Oh…my…God! What is that? Can we touch it?“ And I was like, “No…it’s an antique.“

What’s your favorite thing to do outside of playing sports?
M. Maddox: I like eating chocolate.
O. Maddox: The whole week of States she didn’t eat any sweets, except for one Sweet Tart when she forgot. She was like, “I’m not eating sweets until we win States.“ So when we won, she ate a lot of sweets.
Washington: A chocolate malt at Red Robin.

What’s your favorite type of chocolate, bar or otherwise?
M. Maddox: I love everything, but Crunch was my favorite for a long time.
O. Maddox: She liked it because I liked it.
M. Maddox: I did not.
O. Maddox: You did. We’ve had that conversation before.
M. Maddox: Well, you are my role model, so I might as well.
Washington: Awwwwwwwwwwww.

What’s the first thing you guys did after the game to celebrate?
O. Maddox: We rode home together as a team on the bus. Nobody went home with their parents.
M. Maddox: That was really special.
O. Maddox: And we tried to watch the game film on the bus, but it broke right before the end.
Washington: We wanted to see the celebration, that was the main part. And then it froze.
O. Maddox: We were so mad. It was funny, though.
Washington: And coach (Chad) Prewett made fun of us.
O. Maddox: Yeah, coach Prewett made fun of us a lot on the bus.
Washington: Every time we watch game film he makes fun of us…

Thanks again, Melissa, Jessie and Olivia, for taking the time to sit down with me, and that story will be coming out soon. Promise.

(Photo credit: Vasha Hunt/ Opelika-Auburn News)

Loachapoka’s boys in Birmingham

I’m here at the BJCC for the Class 1A boys state semifinal matchup between Loachapoka (20-8) and No. 2 Phillips (31-4).

This is the Indians’ first trip to the Final Four since 1997, and coach Terry Murph said his players are still a little psyched about it. But they also better be ready to play.

The Bears handed the No. 3 team in the state a 31-point loss at the Northwest Regional last week, and have 6-foot-7 Andy Pounders to give Poka’s post players some nightmares. Pounders, who is four inches taller than anyone on the Indians’ roster, averages 19 points and nine rebounds per game this year. So Poka better brush up on its double- and triple-teaming.

But if they do, the Bears can also hurt them outside. Guard Trent Williams has, in the words of Murph, “unlimited range,“ and averages 14.1 points per game. Point guard Adam McCarley likes to penetrate and dish, averaging eight assists per game to go along with his 12.8 points.

Tommy White, fresh off his Central Regional MVP honors, will be one of the main guys guarding Pounders, along with Marvin Hunter. White is averaging 17 points and 11 rebounds per game this season, but most of his energies will probably be devoted to defense tonight.

If he’s not an offensive threat, the Indians still have Jontavius Willis (15 ppg), Quindravius Richardson (11 ppg) and Patrick Moore (10 ppg) to deal with.

The preceding girls’ game just ended, so we’re about 10 minutes to tip. No word on whether Anthony Williams is in the house.

5:46 p.m.: End of the first here and Poka leads 17-12.

Phillips is packing its zone inside and daring Poka to make outside shots. And Richardson and WIllis are obliging. They’ve combined for 10 points and White has worked hard inside for 5.

Pounders hasn’t been much of a factor yet. That could change…

5:51 p.m.: 5:26 to go in the half and Poka leads 22-18.

Phillips got off to a 6-0 run to take the lead, as Poka started turning the ball over. But a Willis 3 and a Richardson steal and transition score has the Indians up 4 again. They’re got to cut out those TOs, though.

5:54 p.m.: 4:07 to go and Poka is up 29-18.

The Indians were content to play the Bears’ slow style for the first 13 minutes, but now they’re pushing the pace and running Phillips to death. That’s a 12-0 run in two minutes, if you’re keeping track.

6:01 p.m.: Halftime here and Poka still leads 31-24.

The Indians have played a very odd mixture of uptempo, ball-pressure basketball and walk-up, passive-zone basketball. It seems like they’re choosing their spots to run and at other times, sitting back and letting the Bears come to them.

Poka has done a good job fronting Pounders so far. He’s got 6 points and six rebounds, but the Indians have also forced a couple of turnovers on tipped interior passes. Pounders does have three blocks, so Poka players might be a little more careful venturing into the lane in the second half.

Willis and White each have 9 points and four boards for the Indians, Richardson has 8 points and five rebounds and Moore has 3 points and six assists. But he’s also had a couple of pretty egregious turnovers, five in the first half.

McCarley has 11 to lead the Bears.

The buzzer here at the BJCC is so loud it’s sinus-clearing. I’m a trooper, but I might be deafened to death by the end. On to the third…

6:14 p.m.: 6:06 to go and Poka has pushed its lead out to 38-24. That’s a 7-0 run in the first 1:46 for the Indians.

Willis swished another 3, Moore stole the ball and hit a layup, then Willis got a defensive board and pushed it up the floor, ending in a nice little scoop. Here’s that running we saw at the Acadome.

6:27 p.m.: End of the third here and Poka leads 47-36.

The Indians got a lead as big as 16, but the Bears have cut it back down. And Poka big man Marvin Hunter, who had been doing a good job on Pounders, picked up his fourth foul.

Eight minutes until the finals…

6:32 p.m.: 5:36 to go and Poka’s up 51-40.

The Indians are taking forrrrrrever on their offensive possessions, milking that clock. One thing is worrisome: both of their bigs - Hunter and White - have four fouls.

6:39 p.m.: 4:22 to go and the lead is up to 58-42.

Unless there’s a little catastrophe, I’m thinking I’ll see these Indians again Thursday night.

Willis is having a game, with 21 points and six rebounds. The Indians have just seemed so in control from very early on. Kind of hard to believe this is an unranked team that is about to have knocked off the top two teams in the state.

6:47 p.m.: Willis just came off the floor to a big applause with 2:30 to go and Poka up 65-46.

He deserves it after this line: 27 points on 8-of-12 shooting (5-of-7 from 3), eight rebounds and three assists.

6:53 p.m.: 36 seconds to go and Poka’s up 74-49.

The Indians fans are singing nah nah nah nah hey hey hey goodbye. I would have to agree.

6:55 p.m.: Final score: Poka 77-52. And it never looked in doubt.

That’s No. 1 down. That’s No. 2 down. Can’t get much better.

Great Quotes Compilation, Vol. 1

If I had my druthers, Bobby Wright would write every word that came out of my mouth. I would meet with him every morning, he’d give me my script for the day, and I’d be a whole lot better off.

But, with life being as it is, I’ll just have to do with listening to him in post-game press conferences.

The man is an institution at Central, dresses better than any high school coach I have ever seen (this is impressive to me as I look down at my oversized dress shirt billowing out of the waist of my wrinkled slacks), and, in the immortal words of Wingate graduate Mike Szvetitz, “came correct” when it came to quotes during the South Regional last week.

This is him describing the guards of No. 7 Daphne, which the No. 5 Red Devils beat 47-45 in the region semifinals on Wednesday: “They were like gazelles or something; it was hard to corral those guys.“

This is him describing Daphne’s Michael Hobbs, whose shooting performance on the scouting tape Wright watched before the game was, uh, not as impressive as when he came up against Central: “On the film, he couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a two-by-four. But tonight, he was nailing them.“ This makes me wonder what Wright does with some of his free time…

This is him on senior center Joseph Thompson, who played about seven feet taller than his 6-foot-4 frame in the 57-42 Saturday win that sent Central to Birmingham. (Thompson had 20 points, nine rebounds and eight blocks on the game): “I thought he played like a Superman. I just wanted to grab him and hug him and just French kiss him.“

So thanks, coach Wright, for providing some very entertaining moments in the blur of basketball I watched last week. And if you ever need some extra scratch, I’m only half-joking about the speech writing gig…

I would also like to take this time to note Lee-Scott’s Melissa Maddox for her surprising candor and self-deprecating humor.

She fouled out of the Warriors’ 42-36 semifinal win over Pike Liberal Arts on Friday, and I asked her one of those annoying reporter questions you ask key players that foul out, namely “How did you feel watching the last three minutes from the bench?“

Instead of giving some generic answer or ducking the question entirely, she rolled her eyes slightly and said, “Well, I’ve had a lot of practice.“

I liked this answer so much, I gave the Warriors an extra win in my story on their state championship. They actually finished 28-2, not 29-2. And I gave Taylor Road an extra win, too. Not sure why I did that one. Two wrongs make a right?

Maddox’s quote ranks up there with my two other favorite quotes from high school athletes, both gleaned from my five months at the Birmingham News.

I asked Pinson Valley linebacker Adam Hall, who had a 4.3 GPA, an ungodly ACT score and wants to be a civil engineer when he grows up, if he could use any of his classroom aptitude when it came time to put on the pads.

He said: “Calculus, you can’t really relate to football. Physics, you might could.“

My other favorite quote is from former Leeds defensive end Randon Carnathan, who is bound for South Alabama next year. I asked him what he did to celebrate his team’s 3A state championship, and he said he went to Santa Fe. I doubted he meant the city in New Mexico, but I didn’t know what else it could mean, so I asked him. He said he meant Santa Fe Cattle Co., a steakhouse with really good steaks. So I asked him what he ordered.

He said, “...a steak,“ and proceeded to kind of laugh at me.

So, area athletes, if you want to make it onto Vol. 2, just take a stupid or annoying question I ask and make it fun for you. Or get Bobby Wright to write start writing your material.