Why, Wal-Mart? Why?

The sun shone brightly this weekend.

What happened to spring?

Seriously.

It was cold then, all of a sudden, it was Cayenne pepper hot.
And trust me. That’s hot. Caliente, if you will.

But just throw a box fan on us here at the LBWC and we’ll be good to go. That, and maybe a couple Fla-Vor-Ice pops.

Now that takes me back ... Here read this week’s LBWC while I reminisce about being 5 years old. Ahh, those were the days.

5) Saturday morning. What is this?

You all know my love for everything Wal-Mart.

Well, I’ve got a complaint. I know ... blasphemy. But just hear me out.

The Busy Family took our weekly trip to the Greatest Place on Earth early Saturday morning and we got lost. No, not on our way to Wal-Mart. (Can anyone get lost going to Wal-Mart? Really? It’s impossible. You could drop me off in the middle of nowhere, and I’d be at the local Wal-Mart in five minutes. It’s a sixth sense. Don’t be jealous.) But we got lost inside the store.

The Opelika Wal-Mart is renovating its entire store, and everything is in different places. I guess it’s to open up more room and to put things like dog food closer to the regular food—or something like that.

But this caused a Major Pain. No, not this one.

But close.

I’m about to draft a letter to my congressman.

The Busy Girl and I had our local Wal-Mart mapped out like a beach head in WWII. We had a plan of attack, knew where everything was, who was going to get it and even what cart to put it in. (We have two girls, so we need two carts ... for crowd control).

But not this week. Nope. We were as lost as vegetarians in a butcher shop.

Normally, it takes us less than an hour to get in, get what we need and get out (with only minor injuries). Saturday, it took us two hours.

I was deflated. Derailed. Decimated. Deterred. But not defeated.

Nope. Wal-Mart’s renovation might have won the battle, but it will not win the war. I’m spending the next five days doing recon, taking photos, drawing maps and gathering intel before our next trip. I will not be beaten.

4) Friday night. Two!
I took in Beauregard’s second-round playoff baseball doubleheader against Tallassee on Friday afternoon. It was basically the same game twice, just with each team taking turns dominating.
Beauregard and Tallassee split on Friday, setting up a must-win Game 3 on Saturday.

I was not there to cover that game. (Wal-Mart had me in a headlock). But prep ace David Morrison was there ... for all five hours, 12 innings and 502 pitches. Yep, he counted. Don’t believe me? Here’s his story to prove it.

Beauregard won in 12, advancing to the third round.

It’s a shame someone had to lose that game. Congrats to both teams for just being able to stand after all that. Bravo.

3) Friday afternoon. Sunscreen? Sissy.
Yeah, that’s what I thought on my way to Beauregard on Friday for the baseball doubleheader. It wasn’t long after that I wish I hadn’t listened to my inflated and badly sunburned ego.

There’s getting burnt, and then there’s this.

Yep, my arms got torched. But, hey, at least I remembered to wear a hat.

2) Saturday and Sunday. Is it over yet?
The NFL Draft was this past weekend. Wait, you didn’t know? Wow. How’s the weather under that rock?

Of course you knew it was draft weekend. ESPN had it on for 1,298 hours ... and those were just the commercials. Two days of wall-to-wall draft coverage. And you watched it. Maybe not all of it, but you watched some ... OK, a lot.

Why?

Is it really that run to see college kids get selected by your favorite pro team? Maybe.

But I know why you watched for so long ... Because it took you 10 hours of viewing just to catch the perfect time to read the crawl at the bottom of the screen to see who your favorite team drafted.

Every time you flipped on the draft, you just missed your team on the crawl. And every time you flipped back, you just missed it. So you decided to leave it on ESPN so it would scroll back through and you could see who was drafted. But then you’d get up for a second to get a drink or use the bathroom and miss it again.

I know I’m not the only one this happened to.

But instead of just getting online and looking it up, you kept watching the TV, because ESPN and it’s Bottom Line were not going to beat you. Nope, you weren’t going to have a Wal-Mart moment. You were going to see who the Tampa Bay Buccaneers picked in the fourth round if it killed you.

1) Saturday mid-morning. John Deere Green.
(You know you like that song. Admit it. It’s OK. I won’t tell.)

Anyway. I worked out in the yard Saturday after getting back from Wal-Mart.

I had to take out my frustration on something, so the weeds I call grass got the business end of my John Deere. (OK, well, I don’t really have a John Deere, but Craftsman doesn’t really sound as good.)

Cutting grass is therapeutic. Really. It give you time to think.

It also gives you time to get more sunburn.

Yep, forgot the hat.