SZVETITZ COLUMN: What’s on your Christmas wish list?

This year, finally, my daughter was old enough to actually ask Santa Claus for something.

Oh, she’s seen jolly old St. Nick (no, not that one, the one who lives at the North Pole), even had her picture taken with him, but never asked for anything. I think she was preoccupied with his beard. That, and screaming her head off.

But this year, she’s fully grasped the whole Santa Claus phenomenon. And she’s excited.

Very, very excited.

So, what did she ask for?

Something she no doubt needs. Something she says she can’t live without. Something that would make her little world light up like the outside of our house after hours of me hanging Christmas lights and almost falling off the roof — twice. Something every 4-year-old little girl should have.

A toolbox.

Yep. A toolbox.

Hey, it’s what she wants, and Santa doesn’t disappoint, you know.

And that got me thinking about some other people’s wish lists. If they could only get one thing for Christmas, what would it be?

Well, luckily for you, me and Kris Kringle are boys, and he let me have a sneak peek at some lists.

* New Auburn head football coach Gene Chizik: For the 2009 season to hurry up and get here.

* Auburn fans: A top-notch offensive coordinator.

* Alabama head coach Nick Saban: A time machine to go back and play Florida again.

* New Tennessee head coach Lane Kiffin: His father as his defensive coordinator. Wait, that already happened. Christmas came early in Knoxville, Tenn.

* Oakland Raider owner Al Davis: Coal. No really, he likes it.

* South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier: An unlimited supply of golf balls. Not because he’ll lose them, but if he changes his golf ball the way he changes quarterbacks, he’ll need all the Nikes he can get.

* New York Jets quarterback Brett Favre: A clue.

* More Auburn fans: For someone to actually tell them the last month never happened.

* New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick: A new hoodie. The one he’s been wearing has the sleeves cut off. Oh, he likes it like that? Wow. OK, how about a stylist, then? Or a mirror?

* Tiger Woods: Nothing. He’s already got whatever he wants. But since he’s been such a good boy, Santa’s going to bring him a few more major championships this year. And maybe a new yacht.

* LSU head coach Les Miles: A hat that’s just a little bit bigger. Really, the one he’s got is just too tight. Yeah, that’s got to be the reason.

* Vanderbilt head coach Bobby Johnson: Actually, he stopped sending letters to Santa a couple years ago, because he thought Santa wasn’t answering his request for Vanderbilt to make a bowl game. Truth is, Johnson just had the wrong address. And you know the Postal Service, it just took this long to get them forwarded to the right place. Now that they’ve arrived, Johnson’s wish has been granted. And since there’s a backlog of letters, look for the Commodores to have a couple more bowl appearances over the next couple years. Or not.

* Dallas Cowboy wide receiver Terrell Owens: An “I love me some me” clothing line. It’ll go great with his “Just T.O. it” shoe collection.

* NASCAR champ Jimmie Johnson: Some competition.

* New York Yankees part owner Hank Steinbrenner: Manny Ramirez, Mark Teixeira and well, heck, every major league All-Star from both leagues to be in pinstripes next year. Seriously, Steinbrenner doesn’t want to leave any player who hit over .250 or had an ERA under 4.00 to play for any other professional team.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

* Cleveland Browns head coach Romeo Crennel: One more season. “I can turn it around. I promise,” read the post script on his letter to Santa.

* More Auburn fans: Tommy Tuberville for President in 2012.

* Oklahoma quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Sam Bradford: To never grow up.

* Florida quarterback Tim Tebow: Peace on earth, good will toward men ... and, oh, if it’s not too much trouble, a national championship.

* Pro hockey: Fans.

* Auburn University women’s head basketball coach Nell Fortner: March Madness. 

* Michael Phelps: A trophy case big enough to store all the gold medals, awards and the title of “Best Athlete on the Planet.” Oh, and a SIM card with enough memory to store all the girls’ phone numbers he’s been getting.

* The next Auburn defensive coordinator (whoever that is): For Antonio Coleman and Sen’Derrick Marks to remain at Auburn for their senior seasons.

* Mike Szvetitz: Sleep. And for everyone to have a joyous Christmas and a safe New Year’s. Oh, and my daughter’s toolbox.

MIKE SZVETITZ is sports editor of the Opelika-Auburn News. He may be reached at or 737-2513.